When Your Friends Don’t Stay in Touch

Photo by  Rowan Chestnut  on  Unsplash

We all go through that period when a friend, a close friend, is slowly falling out of touch. It could be various things, distance, time apart, a boyfriend, a difficult time. But regardless what it is, it can be difficult. I’ve been chatting to my friends a little bit about this over some time. Sometimes it’s them feeling like someone they care about is not reaching out very much, or not keen to catch up. 

I’ve got friends that live in a different country. I always like staying in touch via messaging and video calling but not everybody does. I’ve had old friends admit to me that they hate staying in touch with distant people because it’s a lot of work. My thoughts are always shock, because I value my friendships so much, no matter the distance. But I acknowledge that it does take effort on both parties to make it work.

Photo by  Clarisse Meyer  on  Unsplash

This is something that, growing up, I struggled a lot with. I was always the one organising things. I would consider myself the glue of all my friendship groups. And I always felt that if I stopped making the effort, everything would fall apart.

In some cases that was true. I’ve had friendships slowly disappear as soon as I stopped breaking my back trying to keep us together, since they never did. But in other cases, my friends pulled through. I’d be pleasantly surprised that I was wrong. 

As I’ve gotten older, the friendships I cherish are the ones where my friends also make an effort. I’m not sure if I’ve just chosen friends who have this trait since I value it so much, or if just because the people I surround myself with now are my true friends. 

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What I used to remind myself growing up, and sometimes even now if I’m feeling alone, is: Be open to change. Someone who you may see almost every single day right now might be someone you stay really close to, but only see once every so often in the future. Change happens, but it doesn’t mean you’re losing your friends.

I felt like writing this because over the past week I’ve been reaching out to people I haven’t spoken to in a while. People overseas, old friends etc. And we never went out of touch on purpose, life just ‘happens’. Sometimes you’ll make the effort and sometimes you’ll just be too ‘caught up’. But just remember, it’s never too late to reach out again.

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Tokyo

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Starting off 2018 with a post from overseas. Japan!

I'm in Japan for a couple of weeks with a group of friends and so far, Japan has treated us well! We've gotten cold, crispy days in Tokyo. Coming from Perth, you'd be right to assume that we are freezing our butts off. We are not used to this kind of weather, so layers of jackets and heat packs are the way to go. Not to mention the vending machines with hot drinks in them (That's definitely one thing I'll miss greatly about Japan).

It doesn't take much to fall in love with Tokyo. From the busiest crosswalk to the quaint streets. It's reminiscent of every asian country I've been to before, but better. 

 

You've probably already heard everyone tell you how clean the streets are, and yet there are no rubbish bins everywhere. Also, that Japan is a country that doesn't accomodate to tourists by having a lot of english signs, or english speakers. But what Japan does have is a rich culture in countless, various aspects. The huge anime and gaming area in Akihabara. The red light district, and the famous robot restaurant. The animal cafes, like the adorable hedgehog cafe. And the temples within the most populated city in the world.

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Studio Ghibli Museum

Shibuya Crossing is considered one of the busiest intersections in the world. My friends and I crossed it backwards and forwards a couple of times just for the fun of it. I would recommend going up to the Starbucks and trying to nab a spot at the window to watch the people down below. It's surprisingly mesmerising and I'm sure you'd be able to spend hours watching the world go by.

If you're a Studio Ghibli fan, you can't go to Tokyo without going to the Studio Ghibli Museum. You can't take any photos inside so you'll just have to trust me when I say it's absolutely amazing. The architecture and interior design of it makes it feel like you're in a studio ghibli movie yourself!

The museum takes you through various parts of the creation of the movies from the evolution of animation to the animation of food. You get to watch a private screening of a short film and there are walk throughs where the rooms replicate how the creators would work, and where they got their inspiration from.

Ueno Park is reminiscent of central park in New York City. Around this park are countless museums and even the Ueno Zoo. We went to the National Museum of Nature and Science which was AMAZING and I'm sure the other museums are too. 

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Ueno Park

Shinjuku 

It didn’t take long to fall in love with Japan and I’m sure I’ll be back. There are other places to check of the bucket list, but if I’m ever craving skiing, super friendly strangers are a busy city that’s intriguingly calming, I know where to go. 

Quinninup and My New Mantra

This is a few months overdue, but I just finished an assignment for my PR unit, so I need to write for my own enjoyment for a little bit.

Mid June, I went down south with Coralie (down south is what Perth people say when they go anywhere in the South west region). It was the day after my last exam for the semester, my first semester at uni, so I definitely deserved a little break. Going down south is definitely one of the best parts of living in Perth. A few hours of driving and you can end up in the middle of a forrest or at a campsite right on the beach. I always tell friends who aren't from Perth that when they come, I'll take them on the best roadtrips.

But, why Quinninup? Or you may be asking, where the hell is Quinninup? Well I'll answer both those questions. It's about four hours south of Perth, and my Uncle and Aunt have a farm down there. It's quite a small farm as far as Australian farms go, but I have so many memories of going down there. It had been so many years since I last went, so it definitely was a bit emotional being back there.

If you weren't aware, I spent 7 years of my childhood in France. I used to say that I "grew up" in France, but you're not really grown up at the age of 9 (the age when I moved back to Perth). But having spent that much of my childhood in France, I can't help but feel like I missed out on a bit of extended family bonding. I'm not saying I'm not close with my relatives, but I sometimes wish I was closer.

I think it has something to do with becoming an adult. You start realising that time is slipping away, and that you're soon going to be one of those people that say "where has the time gone?". I'm not ready to be that person yet. I don't want time to get away from me and realise that there are things I've missed out on doing, on people to see.

So going down to the farm, seeing my Uncle, my Aunt, my cousin and his kids, was the most precious thing I could have ever wanted. What was suppose to be a little break from city life ended up being so heart warming and almost awakening. Not only do I want to make sure I remain close with my extended family, I want to get back in touch with family and old friends.

I was recently talking to a stranger, now a friend. I was telling said stranger about myself, I told him that I'm often eager to meet new people and reach out to ask them to get to know each other better, either just by chatting online or organising a little brunch date. I told him that I've made so many new friends at uni because I just go up to people and start a conversation. And he the way he put my personality was "fearless of rejection". Which is absolutely perfect. It's something I'm going to make my mantra, because life is too short live in fear. What have you got to lose anyway?

So I challenge you: when you're not sure whether to do something or not, or if you're scared or embarrassed. Whether it's asking that cute girl out, applying for a job thats way out of your league, or just sitting next to that person in class, ask yourself "what have I got to lose?".
(please don't answer with dignity because I will slap you).

Also, I made a little video from my time down there (drone footage included)...

Amelia Island

After a delayed 15 hour flight, leading to us missing our connecting flight, and then our next flight being delayed by 4 hours, we finally made it to Jacksonville. Day 1 in the USA was a very sleepy, jet-lagged adventure to Amelia Island.

I learnt two things within the first day in the US, one of which was that cars here don't have number plates on the front, and secondly, that lots of people here really go all out for Christmas!

Scrapbook of My Europe Trip

img_6757 After being back for a month, my regular routine resumed, already bored of the day in day out working life, I decided to finally put together all the little souvenirs from my Europe trip. Over the course of the 2 and a half months that I was travelling, I did my best to keep and collect train tickets, restaurant receipts, business cards and brochures from places I had been to. Rather than scrapbooking on the road (and making a huge effort to be neat and artistic), while I was travelling I wrote daily journal entries, knowing that I would transfer it into a scrapbook. However the thoughts I wrote down were sometimes rather personal and I decided only include bits and pieces that I was happy to share in this scrapbook.

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I can only imagine this will be something I pull out in future years, perhaps showing it to my future kids, reminiscent of my gap year, my first trip alone, my magnificent adventure.

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I believe that capturing your adventures in a creative way such as scrapbooking or in video form makes the  trip more memorable and more magical to look back upon. I can only dread the times when I will no longer remember my trip as vividly as I do now, and no longer feel the longing pang of wanting to be back, like waking from a good dream.

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Although it's difficult to be back, I just try to remind myself of what I felt while I was there, and that I will feel like that again. Over the course of my trip I realised how much I love Perth, but also that I will continue travelling for the rest of my life. The feeling of discovering something new, or embracing being helplessly lost, are feelings you can only know after travelling to an unknown place.

The highlight of my trip was definitely fantastic new friends (shoutout to Lydia) and I can't recommend enough travelling solo to any young person. You learn so much about yourself and you are constantly forced to put yourself out there more.

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Don't forget to check out my youtube channel, I posted videos from my trip as well! https://youtube.com/user/raandomrach/

The Wonderful Brighton

Before starting my trip I was telling everyone "I am going to live in London one day", but after spending a week there, and a week in several other places, I've realised that might be the single biggest lie I've told everyone I know. What I didn't tell everyone before I started my trip was "I am going to live in Brighton one day", and right now, that's something I truly believe. DSC04190-2

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Brighton was a unique, colourful, bustling yet calm city with people from all different walks of life. There was the busy city center and lanes, the wonderfully uncomfortable pebble beach, and the quiet grassy country-ish sides. Everything about it reeled me in, wondering what hidden treasure is hidden around the next corner or down the next narrow alley. What street art was I going to find on the next wall? What hippie event was I going to experience next weekend at the hove lawns? What would life be like were I to live here?

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When my friend, Thalia, and I google things to do in Brighton there were multiple events ranging from a food and music event on hove lawns to a little garden charity party. By coincidence, and to our delight, we met Zoe Sugg, Alfie Deyes, Poppy Deyes and Sean Elliot at this charity event. A little exciting moment amongst our travels in the UK.

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Spending a week in one place is long enough to do many of the touristy things, as well as run out of those things to do and spend some time just living. I've realised that living in Brighton might well be something to write down on my bucket list.

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